“Now…ah…let me understand this…there is a Holiday party for your work, but you don’t get paid for showing up to it? I feel—perhaps this is just my ignorance—not blissful ignorance—irate ignorance—irate at the injustice of it all—that you should be paid to show up and get drunk with the boring people you work with. But-hey-that’s just me. I mean, they pay me to show up to movie premieres. I-I-I get paid in money and alcohol and fine suits that designers lend me, but then I never return. Shh…don’t tell anyone that. But yes! I would love to be your platonic date to your office Holiday party. Shalom!” - My BFF Jeff Goldblum

I told Jeff that I wanted him to be my platonic date to my office Holiday party.

5 months ago  /  11 notes  /  Source: http